Deep Thoughts
Ok, we all know Jack Handy had some pretty deep thoughts...
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
But, James' deep thought is not half bad either. When I asked him how he could remember a certain dinosaur he had played with years ago, he replied, "Its because my mind can go back in time." He's right, who needs time machines?!
7 comments:
Some of my favorites"
“I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.”
"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.”
"The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?”
"If your keys ever fall into a river of molten lava, let 'em go. Because, man, they're gone."
"I was at the museum the other day and a man asked me if I liked Manet or Monet better. I said, 'I like mayonnaise.' He didn't say anthing so I said it again, louder. Then, he just walked away. I think he went to get me some mayonnaise."
I had completely forgotten about Jack Handy...thanks for the reminder and for many laughs! (I wish I had a memory like you guys so I could quote some of my favorites, too!)
one more i just found
is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo flying across in front of a beautiful sunset. And he has a beautiful rose in his beak. And also he is carrying a very beautiful painting in his feet. And also, you're drunk
Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tin foil and paper bags.
I just had to jump on the bandwagon while y'all are talking Deep Thoughts. So here, are a few of my faves.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.
There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.
He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection. I guess that's what I hated about him.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Love them, love them. Thanks for the reminder and the laughs. And James's Deep Thought ranks right up there.
Post a Comment