Novices at Best

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We are novices at best - but which centerpiece is your favorite? I'd love to tally your vote and hear any constructive criticism. Of course, the bride will have final say - but there is still a lot to learn. We're having too much fun to let someone professional take over.

"Steak" Out

James is busily working on a detective chapter book - he dictates to me. Anyhow, we are currently on chapter four and it is titled - Stake Out Time - and James illustrated the page with what else - a steak!
"What's a Stake Out, James?"
"You know, when you sit in a car eating donuts until you pass gas your guts out."
I don't know what he's been reading - but apparently its not the richest literature. Anyhow, on a cleaner note, here's what James is working on (just a teaser to prepare you for the release)...

Chapter 1 - Dark Falls on a Scary Night

James and Chase are eight year old twins. James was born exactly one minute before Chase. And Hailey was born exactly one year later...that makes Haily seven and the perfect assistant.
James likes football. Chase is into basketball. Haily loves princesses. And they all love solving mysteries.
Hailey spots Mr. Klopper first. "Look," she cries. James and Chase turn to look through the window.
"What?!" said James.
"Huh?!" said Chase.
"Look!" she says again. Sure enough, Mr Klopper was walking up the driveway (they had a red Lincoln Navigator). He walked past the Navigator and towards the front steps. James opened the front door.
"Hello," said Hailey.
"Hello," said Chase.
"Hello," said James.
"Hi," said Mom.

Chapter 2 - Mr. Klopper's Story

"So," said James, "What's the problem with you today?"
"I work in an Ancient Egyptian Museum." said Mr. Klopper. "One of our mummies got lost. And I am supposed to find it before the museum director pulls off the cover. And I need you three guys to help me find it. "
"Ok, we'll do it, as fast as lightning!" said Chase.
"Nuh-uh," said James "What if it takes a few minutes or a few hours?"
"Oh, yeah," said Chase "Well, anyway, we are still going to help you."
"Thank you," said Mr. Klopper.

Parenting 101

Most of my parenting ideas are my own silly theories; what I learn from talking to other parents and just experimenting with what works. I am fairly opinionated - but my strongest opinion is: there is not one right way to raise children because every child is so different. There's just not a best or a better.

Anyhow, having said that, people occasionally ask for a book recommendation. And the truth is I don't know - but I did read this one. And I have had more people ask for its name. Here's maybe why...

1. It suggests that the first three years are the most important of life (in all truth, I think that whatever age your child is "now" is the most important time but I like to read about how important the first few are because some days it doesn't feel that way)
2. It suggests that we not even worry about teaching or disciplining before a child is six months - just love them, love them!
3. It reminds us that at nine months children reach a happy plateau, they will play with one toy on and on, laugh and entertain themselves. But its important not to take advantage of this time; before they get bored and start fussing remembering to switch their toy or move them to another activity. The idea is to prevent the demand cry - by giving the most attention when they are happily playing - instead of when they are crying. One way I interpreted this: if my baby started crying in his crib I would casually enter the room - not even looking at him - as if though the sunlight brought me in - not the crying. Once I did "notice" I would try and cheer them up in the crib (ie. playing peek a boo) before I got them out. And the second their little frown cracked into I smile I swoop them up with a "What a happy boy!".
4. The author suggests that preventing the terrible two's and tantrums is possible (and personally, I think that terrible two's are nothing compared to terrible three's so I really heeded this advice). There are a lot of suggestions - but one main thing is really sticking to your word. If you say I'll play with you in a minute - do. And if you say no more cookies and you are in the grocery store and tears have started - still don't give the cookies.

That's the flavor - a lot of every book like this is some silliness - which toys are good and which ones aren't - its really more about what works for you and the child.

I have also been asked - what next - if they are already three - then what. This is an older book with no quick fixes because its more preventative - how helping your child with self-esteem will help them with life. Its a bit hard to read and a little slow but really worth while - in fact, I like the concepts better. It reminds us that the way we talk to our children really matters - the actual words, the tones, and how they perceive it. For example, instead of saying, "Good Boy!" as praise - be specific about what makes them good,"Boy, you are so good at listening!" If you know Cheryl, she kept it on her bedside while raising her children.

In the end, my favorite is talking out solutions with wonderfully wise parents like yourselves! I even thought about doing an "Ask Angie" or something silly on this blog - a child who kicks, won't take baths, won't eat solids - I lay awake thinking about it!

Wasting Time 101

Its nap time and preschool, so here we are - Japanimation style. Angie, James, and Chase - thanks to Kelley and Avatar we are ready for the cartoon network! You should see James with a beard...

Gardening 101

My parents have one annual can't miss date - the SF Garden Show. I tagged along this year as their designated third wheel, James and Chase were respectively training wheels. It was so much fun. I am not a gardener - but I feel giddy learning and recognizing new flowers. The campanula (yes, I am name dropping) above is so delicate - I fell in love again.

Here's how it works: each nursery designs their own garden - complete with old fashioned cars, bridges, and ponds. For example, a few graduate students of Berkley designed an entirely recycled garden - taking wine barrels to a new dimension - using cork as stepping stones. Another group created a field of filled with flowers of subtly different yellow hues. So many fun ideas and gorgeous flowers all labeled. Perfect for the novice (me) and expert (my mom).

And then there are booths of everything from antique dough bowls to garden brooms. Who knew there would be such yummy treats at the garden show?! I bought four flavors of scones and the best lemon curd. I've never been really big on mixes - but all you have to add is cream and then bake - they are surprisingly light - hooray for Iveta Gourmet! And hooray for scones!

After talking with the designer of this darling book - my mom had to buy it. Its all about decorating with flowers and fruit; passion flowers and limes, artichokes mixed with roses, oranges and lillies. Emily is the one enlightening this fun avenue, she found the greatest flower arrangement with pears - and now we've got fruit on the brain thinking about wedding centerpieces.

Kitchen 101

I am telling you that this kitchen utensil is bar none the best of the week, month, and dare I say it - year. I recently started using it for more than just pizza: cutting up deli meat into small squares for little mouths, dividing sandwiches in half, relieving the bread of its crusts (I swore I would never do this - but with a Chase you compromise), getting waffles and pancakes the appropriate bite-size, anything you can dream up. Just try it - its a dream - I really won't turn back to the regular old Wustoff as long as I am busy plating children's meals.

True Love

I have never seen an orchid like this (so I had to take a picture) - its a Masdevallia and I saw it at the San Francisco Garden Show yesterday. I'll have to elaborate - but for now, I'm the owner of an orange piece of heaven.

Missin' Out

I have every reason to dread my life right now, and ironically (or hopefully) I have every reason to love it. But despite the amount of fun I am having while the boys grow, the truth is there are a lot of days I fake it. Fake it 'til you make it - right?! Anyhow, there is a lot of goodness so that's not the hard part. The hard part is missing things; not knowing if I'll pick up where I left off or if its all in the past. And if it is in the past did I appreciate it enough?

Here are a few random things about Manhattan I wonder if I savored enough...

1. Central Park (for example the Bethesda fountain - I went but I didn't take any pictures of the boys living and chasing around it - not as tourists)
2. Pearl River Mart in SoHo - I went so many times and almost bought specific place settings for Chinese food and chopsticks - sigh - there are so many wonderful chopsticks I never bought
3. The Friends in my building and nearby buildings - I love you all and wish I played harder and longer - and instead of Friday potlucks at Wagner, I wish I had camped there.
4. Everyone in Primary - I was so busy most Sundays I didn't get to stop and chat enough - did I let them know how much I adored and admired them?
5. So many places to eat (although I am sure I savored Financier enough, hell, I walked downstairs and went in my jammers most of the time).
6. Book Club - it was a wonderful group of rotating people - hey, remember the recap's Elise would do - that was the best - but I got lazy about going in the end.
7. Levain's - I didn't eat enough of their cookies, period.

I don't have many regrets, but I have the middling almost-regret. I guess its always best to live whole-heartedly. Jump in and make friends - not wait - its such a waste otherwise. Because the truth is cookies and chopsticks aren't so important - its the people.

All Things Bath

Tonight I dragged soaking children out of the bath and subsequently, my thoughts on all things bath...

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One. I dropped "Big Blue" in the tub and its busy fizzes and frothy foam scared Chase. But, James loved the seaweed that appeared. So, tonight the bright blue bath water transformed the ordinary bath into the ocean and the boys into two large fish.

Two. I bought "Big Blue" in Carmel. And although LUSH is in New York, LA, Australia, Hong Kong, etc.; I still get as excited as I did the first time I found the store eight years ago. I bought a few bath bombs to introduce James to the experience. The Tisty Tosty is shaped like a heart. For $5.35 it makes a heavenly bath filled with a light scent and dried roses. And if you saw the Friends where Chandler bathes with emulsifying salts - you know that even the most skeptical showerer can become bath believers - you'll just have to try it.

Three. This poor mother elephant dreams of five minutes' peace but never attains it - she doesn't give up on the dream (a dream my mother must have shared). In the end of the book, 1 minute 37 seconds of peace in a quiet bath will have to do. Perhaps tomorrow she will find her peace.

Four. On rare occasions I bathe in the darkness - no candles (although that's nice) - there is something about taking a bath at night when the house is silent and all you can hear is the gentle sound of water. Somehow my senses are hightened...showers for business, but always baths for pleasure.

Five. The bubble bath. I can imagine the crackling sound of the bubbles as I type. My Grandmother always had a huge bottle of Spring Gel Vitabath by her tub, and my mother kept the tradition alive.

Six. And then there's Bath in Sommerset, England. Its one of my favorite places - the architecture, the Royal Crescent, the history. Visiting the Roman Baths made me feel part of the past. And when I looked up at the fan vaulting on the ceiling in Bath Abbey -- heaven.

Seven (its a stretch). Jane Austen's Persuasion takes place in Bath; I love the pivotal scene where Anne makes the assertion, "We certainly do not forget you, as soon as you forget us. It is, perhaps, our fate rather than our merit. We cannot help ourselves..." These words overheard by Wentworth spark a passionate letter he hands her, with renewed hope for the future. (Northanger Abbey and Pickwick Papers have scenes in Bath as well.)

Fin.

I couldn't help myself

http://www.myheritage.com

The Glass Castle

I am so torn on my review of this memoir. But, I think that's the point. At one point, the brilliant/creative/alcoholic father catches his children burning down an old warehouse and points to the "top of the fire where the snapping yellow flames dissolved into an invisible shimmery heat that made the desert beyond seem to waver, like a mirage." He explains "'...that zone was known in physics as the boundary between turbulence and order. It's a place where no rules apply, or at least they haven't figured 'em out yet,' he said. 'You all got a little too close to it today.'" But even though the children didn't die in the fire, this family seems to live in this strange in between place. A place where the children paint, read Plato, and go hungry most nights of the weeks. Its an interesting/upsetting read but I think worth the time - its one you really won't be able to put down.

It would make an interesting book club discussion and here's one thought - it seems that the way we were raised leads to who we are. But, I firmly suggest that its our obligation to look at the past (for good and for bad) and analyze what was true and what wasn't; instead of just taking it for truth because its what we know. We are all raised by imperfect people and we are imperfect as well - therefore some of our patterns could be damaging. But the most damaging is not looking.

One of my favorite quotes from literature is the last line from Morrison's Song of Solomon..."If you surrender to the air, you can ride it." Simply meaning we need to accept the past in order to soar into the future.

Jump, Jump!

I've had a sisterly request for this video of my two year old - its really extraordinary - in that it brings tears of light laughter - an almost flip - in fact, Chase discovered this move the day after March Trampoline Madness - it inspired so much...and, I apologize, I am terrible with technology so you will have to view it with a head tilt!

click once to activate and pause and then click once again on the triangle to view - i hope it works now!

China Cove

This weekend we went to Point Lobos (just South of Carmel) - and I was able to introduce my boys to China Cove. It is a place that held mystery and intrigue for me throughout my childhood. It wasn't the same as my memories - but new memories are good too. Possibly better because I am realizing that I have the worst memory of all time. College roommates will ask if I remember such and such and I rarely do. Sigh. And my childhood - that's really far gone. What are good ways to stretch or strengthen your memory? If I once knew a way, I have since forgotten.

Help?!

What is wrong with you? And what is wrong with me? And why is it so hard for so many of us to accept help.

I'm very serious about this and the more I ponder, the more tragic I find the situation. If someone offers their seat on the subway (even if we are tired and pregnant) we more likely say no than yes. The question at the grocery store, "Would you like help with that?" is almost invisible. Sure it would be nice to have someone return the cart for me - but I don't want to put someone out and endure the awkward walk to the car with a stranger - and what if they load the groceries in such a way they will fall over - it feels simpler to say "No, thank you." But is it really simpler? I've decided it really isn't. The more we disallow people to help - the more we shut one another out and therefore close ourselves in. "Independent" has taken on a new dimension - we have started to think of ourselves as a failure or incapable or somehow less if we ask for help. But independence is not such a glowing quality when it turns into simple solitude. There is nothing brilliant about feeling alone and not asking for help.

The irony comes when someone calls with a question like this...Could you watch my kids for an hour while I'm at the dentist? We answer - yes! please! of course! i love to help! We give help, but cannot receive help. Its true: we give help, but cannot receive help!

One reason is that we all know someone who asks too much - or over uses this kindness - and we don't want to be seen in that light. But for you who says "no thanks" to everything - you aren't that moochy person. And we can't let it get in our way...because helping each other links us together and makes enduring seem more like living and less like holding on until whenever.

A lot of us are forced into needing help. When I was on bed rest, traveling alone with two kids, and when I get sick amazing people step forward. But, why wait until its desperate? I say we start learning a lesson - if someone called and said, "Ang, will you make me dinner tonight - I am having a no good, terrible, very bad day - and that's the real reason!" I think I could only love them more. Anyhow, I'm going to try to show my weaknesses a bit more and not be to afraid. Which means not just waiting until I look desperate enough that anyone would help - but asking for help a bit earlier.

I think that this is one of the hardest life lessons that exists.

March Trampoline Madness

The Madness has spilled into the backyard. Today the brackets were drawn and destiny was on the line. Those who follow seater-war eagerly anticipated this famed competition. Here's how it looked...

Games of note:

Ben vs. Ridi - proved to be one of the most exciting games of all - to have such giants meet in such an early round gave early hype to the contest. But, Ben's pattented spin seater proved to be triumphant.

Josh vs. C (the wild card - meaning Chase or Catherine) - Catherine sadly lasted one jump remembering too late that nylons have poor trampoline grip.

James vs. Ben - James was able to power jump Ben all of the way off the trampoline.

Mimi vs. Josh - the handshake to begin the match included a kiss - but was it legal?!

Roy vs. Ben - Ben never laughed harder.

Angie vs. Josh - the longest match of the day - both were red and sweating by the time Angie finally triumphed.

The Championship Handshake

Go James!

Number Nine won the entire tournament!

Chase held his own, and stayed smiling...

even after this!

Dandelions & Starfish

We went to Fitzgerald Marine Reserve and Chase had as much fun blowing the dandelions** in the parking lot as he did down by the ocean. Of course, he wisely didn't touch the hermit crabs, in fact he saw one in the water and said, "Bug, ouch!" Amen! I'll touch a sea anemone - but I leave the bigger things to the "intrepid discoverers" (James coined last visit).

Speaking of discoverers, James had Mimi and Josh on his expedition - and they were much more successful. They reported finding starfish of varying shapes and colors. And Emily mentioned one star fish actually changed colors once they lifted it out of the water (I thought chameleons and other strange bugs had that trait not starfish - but I really wouldn't know and I'll have to trust her).

** We actually started calling dandelions "golden soldiers" because Mary Poppins tells a story about a cow who caught a star on his horn and started dancing. The dancing prevented him from eating "golden soldiers" his favorite food.

James still liked the taste of the salt water today - and this picture from last time shows he likes the taste of starfish too - crazy!

Jammer Time

Around our house, "jammer time" means pajama time. And I have a favorite little secret. I love my boys to wear matching pajamas. I don't think I could have them go around town as twinners - but at night - I just love it. Its a secret joy. But, alas, James has turned five and will soon have outgrown BabyGap, officially. This means no more matching jammers. So, to pay tribute to one of my greatest joys and favorite aspects of life, here's a walk down memory lane...its "jammer time!"

A day in the life of...

Today I am just going to document a day - just a day.

I found Chase eating three apples - that kid gets into more mischief - yesterday it was chocolate and lotion (even in the hair).

8:06

I made it - the final stretch - the boys are finally in bed - here's how it came to an end...

1. Chase started walking down the deck stairs - one after another - and he tumbled down them. Thank goodness for his blankey blue.
2. After tears the boys started playing together - the pictures are proof.
3. IN-N-OUT for dinner, we ate outside.
4. Baths and Toilet Cleaning and Pajamas
5. And then, just before everyone was in bed - James remembered that I had promised we'd do Boggle for Family Night - we hadn't and we dropped everything to keep the promise.
6. P-R-A-I-R-I-E-S was the best word.

So, a little past bedtime, we still made it! I am sure there will be a few "last" good-nights ahead - the later it is, the harder for them to fall asleep.

5:55

Fight over the tamborine - screaming and crying. But, we were able to put out the fire with our 3-2-1 "my turn" method. The kids share - by trading the desired object for 3 seconds each (anything longer Chase can't wait for). For some reason this seems to work - we do it over and over and one of them looses interest soon enough. It goes like this..."Threeee, Twoooo, One, Chase's Turn," and then "Threeeee, Twoooo, One, James' Turn" over and over and over....

5:24

Well, Chase is having a pre-dinner snack now that we are back. We got a fresh loaf of french bread and he is carrying around about a fourth of it. We also stopped and got two summer outfits at Gap. It was eighty today and my boys have grown out of last year's clothes. I really like these cute orange shorts for Chase, but the older James gets the more particular he is. He likes to wear football jerseys - but did agree to this robot shirt on the right - why are girls clothes more fun?

Uh-oh, I just looked at Chase and he has gotten into the gum - I better dash.